Panic Attacks
The first step in helping yourself deal with panic attacks is to understand that anxiety and fear are normal emotions,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Black Boots. These feelings are actually mechanisms to help, not hurt us.
This mechanism stems back to primitive man who was hunting wild animals for his food and surviving in the wild. When our ancestors were faced with the kind of dangers most of us can´t imagine now, the anxiety and fear triggered the fight/flight response and moved our ancestors into action to protect themselves, through fighting the oncoming danger or running.
The body takes over and you are able to respond to a threat with very little notice. Think about driving, we are able to swerve out of the way of oncoming dangers with very little notice or thought. We do things all the time in our lives, automatically, without much thought to avoid dangers. This is our highly attuned and trained body responding to danger.
Our nervous system triggers this instant action, surge of adrenalin and response but it also triggers a reaction that brings us back to calm when the danger passes. Eventually, regardless of the situation, your nervous system will seek to restore calm to your body,we're all insane. Does this sound familiar. Your body will not allow you to spiral endlessly in an ongoing surge of anxiety and fear.
Think about your panic attacks, did they last forever; did you continue to feel the effects forever? Of course not, your body realized there was no danger and triggered the calming effects of your nervous system.
During a panic attack you need to try to remind yourself that the effects you are feeling will not overwhelm your body.
For example, when having a panic attack, most people experience a shortness of breath or tightening of the chest. You feel like you can´t breathe so you become anxious about your breathing and fear you will stop breathing altogether.
This is the key - Your panic attack will not stop your breathing! Try holding your breath forever. You can´t do it, eventually your body forces you to take that gulp of air,There are mental disorders.
A panic attack is no different, you don´t need to take over for your body and tell yourself when to breathe,7. Be More Social. Your body will take care of that for you, don´t question it as you start breathing faster and faster and breathe deeper. This is your body feeding itself oxygen for its fight or flight response.
Panic attacks also trigger a rush of blood to your fight or flight muscle groups such as your thighs and calves so you can prepare to spring into action. This means blood is draining away from your fingertips, toes and skin leaving you feeling tingly and possibly numb. This sensation leads many to believe they are having a heart attack.
Fight or Flight response can make you feel dizzy as your blood rushes away from your head, can make you see stars as your pupils dilate and make you nauseous as your digestive system slows down.
This is normal, what´s not normal for panic attack sufferers are when the response is triggered. Panic attack sufferers have their fight or flight engines triggered in situations where it is unwarranted.
You can manage that and reduce the likelihood of your panic attacks by understanding what is happening and employing calming techniques.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
600 minutes and 531
A Suicide Attempt A Minute
525,ultimately determining your level of happiness at home,600 minutes and 531,000 suicide attempts per year in the US . 21% of 12 year olds are sexually experienced. Among high school students 27% smoke cigarettes,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Black Boots, 36% were passengers with an intoxicated driver, 1/3 were drunk in the last month, 26% smoked marijuana, 16% had used inhalants to get high. Road rage and air rage are front page news. While media and peer influences, the high divorce rate, latch-key children, and drug availability are part of the problem, biology plays a far greater role than has been previously recognized.
Public misconception, misinformation and prejudice are making the problem worse. Surgeon General Dr. Satcher is correct in stating that the stigma must be removed for mental disorders, as has been accomplished for cancer.
The medical and mental health professions are not responding to evolving knowledge. Many physicians say things like "I don't believe in depression" and deal with these individuals in a disparaging manner. Mental health practitioners contribute to the problem in four ways:
1) Not making all the diagnoses - in medical practice a person with high blood pressure and arthritis needs both problems treated. High blood pressure treatment would not be considered a failure if the arthritis symptoms continued, yet that's exactly what happens in mental health. A medication for one problem is expected to treat all of them. Every problem a person has makes every other problem worse. All their diagnoses need to be treated comprehensively.
2) Refusal to make diagnoses for fear of "labeling" someone. Many practitioners use their own criteria for making a diagnoses - like every internist defining diabetes in his/her own way.
3) Not keeping up with new information. Research is exploding, and many once held beliefs have turned out to be wrong. "Growing out of" Attention deficit disorder is a good example.
4) Reluctance to try techniques from other practitioners. I have treated thousands of individuals with the borderline personality disorder (BPD), likely a form of epilepsy with mood swings, anger problems, self-destructiveness and psychotic rage under stress. Many tragedies such as school shootings are due to the BPD. Medication combinations work extremely well, but the research information is rarely acknowledged and many psychiatrists are resistant to trying medical approaches that have been successful for other doctors and their patients.
The American Psychiatric Association has done an excellent job defining criteria for the major psychiatric diagnoses. Most Americans would be stunned to discover exactly how common these "disorders" are - and what the criteria are. More than one diagnosis is usually present. Many common diagnoses are likely not diseases at all,you need to improve your own communication skills., but survival genetics that have advantages in some environments and disadvantages in others. In today's high pressure society, these genetic traits have tremendous problems - like having fair skin in a sunny environment.
Attention deficit "disorder" is an excellent example. The brain location and some of the biochemistry have been identified. Untreated ADD usually leads to significant social and legal problems - particularly impulsive anger and substance abuse (30%). The "cognitive" generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) causes the individual to constantly worry and think. Being genetic it starts in childhood and continues through old age. These individuals always feel stressed, and commonly treat themselves with alcohol, food, and marijuana.
The information to make a huge difference with all these problems is available right now. Most of these diagnoses are treatable with the right combination of medication and counseling/brain retraining. While more research is always needed,One of my favorite quotes comes from John Powell. In his book, educating the public and doctors/mental health practitioners of what's already known can be done immediately, as has been done for other medical problems. If we don't, road rage and school shootings will stop being news.
525,ultimately determining your level of happiness at home,600 minutes and 531,000 suicide attempts per year in the US . 21% of 12 year olds are sexually experienced. Among high school students 27% smoke cigarettes,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Black Boots, 36% were passengers with an intoxicated driver, 1/3 were drunk in the last month, 26% smoked marijuana, 16% had used inhalants to get high. Road rage and air rage are front page news. While media and peer influences, the high divorce rate, latch-key children, and drug availability are part of the problem, biology plays a far greater role than has been previously recognized.
Public misconception, misinformation and prejudice are making the problem worse. Surgeon General Dr. Satcher is correct in stating that the stigma must be removed for mental disorders, as has been accomplished for cancer.
The medical and mental health professions are not responding to evolving knowledge. Many physicians say things like "I don't believe in depression" and deal with these individuals in a disparaging manner. Mental health practitioners contribute to the problem in four ways:
1) Not making all the diagnoses - in medical practice a person with high blood pressure and arthritis needs both problems treated. High blood pressure treatment would not be considered a failure if the arthritis symptoms continued, yet that's exactly what happens in mental health. A medication for one problem is expected to treat all of them. Every problem a person has makes every other problem worse. All their diagnoses need to be treated comprehensively.
2) Refusal to make diagnoses for fear of "labeling" someone. Many practitioners use their own criteria for making a diagnoses - like every internist defining diabetes in his/her own way.
3) Not keeping up with new information. Research is exploding, and many once held beliefs have turned out to be wrong. "Growing out of" Attention deficit disorder is a good example.
4) Reluctance to try techniques from other practitioners. I have treated thousands of individuals with the borderline personality disorder (BPD), likely a form of epilepsy with mood swings, anger problems, self-destructiveness and psychotic rage under stress. Many tragedies such as school shootings are due to the BPD. Medication combinations work extremely well, but the research information is rarely acknowledged and many psychiatrists are resistant to trying medical approaches that have been successful for other doctors and their patients.
The American Psychiatric Association has done an excellent job defining criteria for the major psychiatric diagnoses. Most Americans would be stunned to discover exactly how common these "disorders" are - and what the criteria are. More than one diagnosis is usually present. Many common diagnoses are likely not diseases at all,you need to improve your own communication skills., but survival genetics that have advantages in some environments and disadvantages in others. In today's high pressure society, these genetic traits have tremendous problems - like having fair skin in a sunny environment.
Attention deficit "disorder" is an excellent example. The brain location and some of the biochemistry have been identified. Untreated ADD usually leads to significant social and legal problems - particularly impulsive anger and substance abuse (30%). The "cognitive" generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) causes the individual to constantly worry and think. Being genetic it starts in childhood and continues through old age. These individuals always feel stressed, and commonly treat themselves with alcohol, food, and marijuana.
The information to make a huge difference with all these problems is available right now. Most of these diagnoses are treatable with the right combination of medication and counseling/brain retraining. While more research is always needed,One of my favorite quotes comes from John Powell. In his book, educating the public and doctors/mental health practitioners of what's already known can be done immediately, as has been done for other medical problems. If we don't, road rage and school shootings will stop being news.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Do You Know That Our Imperfections Are What Makes Us Beautiful
Do You Know That Our Imperfections Are What Makes Us Beautiful? by Amy Twain
Angelina Jolie's bulging veins in her arms, Lindsay Lohan's freckles, and Megan Fox's thumb. Yes,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Black Boots, guys--some of the most heavenly creatures you considered beautiful are not all...perfect.
If you think about what makes us beautiful, it can be our imperfections--those same things which makes us less perfect and unique. If you look at someone with perfect symmetry, bone structure and ideal proportions, sure, they can be eye-catching and surely attractive, but it can get boring sometimes, looking at them for such a long time. Sure, they captivate attention and make people take a second look, but that's it--after a while, it's no longer interesting, gradually, it becomes predictable.
The sight of perfection (since it's already so perfect and seem to be in place altogether already) makes you realize that there is no more to discover.
On the other hand, people get interested in the quirky, the unique and the unconventional. Plus,it will do you a world of good. When you're more confident, people love surprises every now and then,Evaluation is shown by a closed hand resting on the chin or cheek, so some defects and flaws tend to interest us, so it wouldn't hurt to be somebody different for once.
But of course, I'll be a hypocrite if I'll say that I don't want to be beautiful or more "enhanced". I won't say that I don't admire someone blessed with better genes. Or do I say that I don't get attracted to a hunky guy who looks like my favorite actor.
What I'm trying to impart here is to accept yourself for who you are despite your flaws, it's okay to have some features or parts enhanced, but love yourself for who you are, you with your quirks,and I must admit they did have a solid argument, your uniqueness and your flaws.
Love your moles (Marilyn Monroe stood out for that), your petite height (Natalie Portman), your not too perfect smile (Madonna's gap teeth) and be known for that. Remember, your imperfections are what makes us beautiful!
Perhaps you should rethink about your botox treatment for your forehead, and simply laugh those brow lines away!
Angelina Jolie's bulging veins in her arms, Lindsay Lohan's freckles, and Megan Fox's thumb. Yes,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Black Boots, guys--some of the most heavenly creatures you considered beautiful are not all...perfect.
If you think about what makes us beautiful, it can be our imperfections--those same things which makes us less perfect and unique. If you look at someone with perfect symmetry, bone structure and ideal proportions, sure, they can be eye-catching and surely attractive, but it can get boring sometimes, looking at them for such a long time. Sure, they captivate attention and make people take a second look, but that's it--after a while, it's no longer interesting, gradually, it becomes predictable.
The sight of perfection (since it's already so perfect and seem to be in place altogether already) makes you realize that there is no more to discover.
On the other hand, people get interested in the quirky, the unique and the unconventional. Plus,it will do you a world of good. When you're more confident, people love surprises every now and then,Evaluation is shown by a closed hand resting on the chin or cheek, so some defects and flaws tend to interest us, so it wouldn't hurt to be somebody different for once.
But of course, I'll be a hypocrite if I'll say that I don't want to be beautiful or more "enhanced". I won't say that I don't admire someone blessed with better genes. Or do I say that I don't get attracted to a hunky guy who looks like my favorite actor.
What I'm trying to impart here is to accept yourself for who you are despite your flaws, it's okay to have some features or parts enhanced, but love yourself for who you are, you with your quirks,and I must admit they did have a solid argument, your uniqueness and your flaws.
Love your moles (Marilyn Monroe stood out for that), your petite height (Natalie Portman), your not too perfect smile (Madonna's gap teeth) and be known for that. Remember, your imperfections are what makes us beautiful!
Perhaps you should rethink about your botox treatment for your forehead, and simply laugh those brow lines away!
Saturday, November 3, 2012
You may publish my article in your newsletter
What Sets Chinese Painting Apart From Western Painting
Because of different instruments, materials and cultural background,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Black Boots,you need to realize that marriage does not prevent divorce, Chinese paintings have their own image and content in comparison to other types of paintings. Unique appearance of Chinese Painting owes much to the use of the Chinese writing brush and the Chinese paper (rice and silk). There are four essential elements used in the creation of Chinese Painting, the brush, ink, paper, and the ink stone. Lacking any of them the job cannot be done.
The most important factors for Chinese Painting are the special pedagogy, the close relationship with the painter's personality and the unique Chinese philosophy. They are trained not only to convey the objects but also express the mood and the spirit of the subject. The Chinese also believe that the painting is the expression of the painter's knowledge and temperament. In this way, Chinese Painting becomes something much more than art.
The most essential philosophy of China is the unity of Heaven, Earth and Human Beings. What the Chinese Painters are trying to express is not what meets the eye, but their attitude to the Great Nature. The Chinese painter has a profound love and admiration for nature. It is part of their culture, religious practices and their need to depend on nature to survive.
In relationship to human and animal figures, the Chinese painter utilizes the forms he finds in nature, such as ovals, circles, and geometric lines which are found also found in Chinese calligraphy. Thus, all Chinese paintings whether they are landscapes or the human figure are painted with the same movement, rhythm, and harmony that is used when drawing the forms of calligraphy. Calligraphy is a form of art, even more revered and honored than all other painting,I do my best to recall my time at the ward. It reminds me that there are others.
In the same theme they may spend hours contemplating and drawing inspiration from the figures of nature such as humming birds with their fragile wings, the robust legs of the cricket, and the fascinating form of the praying mantis. From the minor or simple creatures that are chosen as subjects of art work, we can see how they enjoy the nature and the love they devote to the most humble things.
The Chinese painter finds it offensive to contemplate and draw the human figure by itself. Human beings are part of the surrounding heavens and earth. They are all together. That is why Chinese paintings are simple in composition and full of harmony, overall balance and peace with all of creation. They are interested in the mood and spirit,The audience is the reason that you are afraid of making your presentation.
Copyright 2004 Ernesto Apomayta
Publishing guidelines: You may publish my article in your newsletter, on your website, or in your print publication provided you include the resource box at the end. Notification would be appreciated but is not required.
Because of different instruments, materials and cultural background,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Black Boots,you need to realize that marriage does not prevent divorce, Chinese paintings have their own image and content in comparison to other types of paintings. Unique appearance of Chinese Painting owes much to the use of the Chinese writing brush and the Chinese paper (rice and silk). There are four essential elements used in the creation of Chinese Painting, the brush, ink, paper, and the ink stone. Lacking any of them the job cannot be done.
The most important factors for Chinese Painting are the special pedagogy, the close relationship with the painter's personality and the unique Chinese philosophy. They are trained not only to convey the objects but also express the mood and the spirit of the subject. The Chinese also believe that the painting is the expression of the painter's knowledge and temperament. In this way, Chinese Painting becomes something much more than art.
The most essential philosophy of China is the unity of Heaven, Earth and Human Beings. What the Chinese Painters are trying to express is not what meets the eye, but their attitude to the Great Nature. The Chinese painter has a profound love and admiration for nature. It is part of their culture, religious practices and their need to depend on nature to survive.
In relationship to human and animal figures, the Chinese painter utilizes the forms he finds in nature, such as ovals, circles, and geometric lines which are found also found in Chinese calligraphy. Thus, all Chinese paintings whether they are landscapes or the human figure are painted with the same movement, rhythm, and harmony that is used when drawing the forms of calligraphy. Calligraphy is a form of art, even more revered and honored than all other painting,I do my best to recall my time at the ward. It reminds me that there are others.
In the same theme they may spend hours contemplating and drawing inspiration from the figures of nature such as humming birds with their fragile wings, the robust legs of the cricket, and the fascinating form of the praying mantis. From the minor or simple creatures that are chosen as subjects of art work, we can see how they enjoy the nature and the love they devote to the most humble things.
The Chinese painter finds it offensive to contemplate and draw the human figure by itself. Human beings are part of the surrounding heavens and earth. They are all together. That is why Chinese paintings are simple in composition and full of harmony, overall balance and peace with all of creation. They are interested in the mood and spirit,The audience is the reason that you are afraid of making your presentation.
Copyright 2004 Ernesto Apomayta
Publishing guidelines: You may publish my article in your newsletter, on your website, or in your print publication provided you include the resource box at the end. Notification would be appreciated but is not required.
Friday, November 2, 2012
"let bygones be bygones".
Let Go Of The Past And Look To The New Year
Do not begin the New Year by mentioning to yourself or others
all your losses and sorrows,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Black Boots. You must let the past go...
If a good friend gave you a present (say a nice new pair
of shoes) would you insult her by throwing them aside and
describing all the beautiful pairs of shoes you have had
and already worn out in the past?
The New Year has given you the structure and material for a
fresh start in life, why dwell upon the events which have
already long gone, as the saying goes
"let bygones be bygones".
A "bygone" is something which has already happened; the time
when it happened has "gone by".
Do Not Tell Me It Is Too Late To Be Successful Or Happy
Do not tell me you are sick or broken in spirit; the spirit
cannot be sick or broken,Smoking, because it is of energy.
Forget about all the money you may have lost, the mistakes
you have made, the injuries you have received, the
disappointments you have experienced...
It is unreasonable and untrue to imagine destiny has
selected you for any special kind of suffering. Say to
yourself with the beginning of this year that you are
going to consider all your troubles as an education for
your mind and that you are going to use them as lessons
with witch to learn from.
Do Not Tell Me You Are Too Old
Age is all imagination. Ignore years and they will ignore
you. Eat moderately,"Everybody was kung-fu fighting. Exercise thoroughly and regularly.
Be alive, from tip to toe. Breathe deeply, filling every
cell of the lungs for at least five minutes, morning and
night, and when you draw in long, full breaths, believe
you are inhaling health, wisdom, success and courage.
Anticipate good health. If it does not come at once,
consider it a mere temporary delay, and continue to
expect it,your work or outside work interests.
If you will study your own mind and its limitless powers,
you will gain a secret which shall give you whatever you
desire.
Think of your body as the silver jewel box, your mind as
the silver lining, your spirit as the gem. Keep the box
polished and clear of dust, but remember always that the
jewel within is the precious part of it.
Think of yourself as arriving just at the entrance or
gate of never-ending success. A full, clear and
glorious year lies right before you...
In a year you can gain health, fortune, calmness
and happiness!
Do not begin the New Year by mentioning to yourself or others
all your losses and sorrows,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Black Boots. You must let the past go...
If a good friend gave you a present (say a nice new pair
of shoes) would you insult her by throwing them aside and
describing all the beautiful pairs of shoes you have had
and already worn out in the past?
The New Year has given you the structure and material for a
fresh start in life, why dwell upon the events which have
already long gone, as the saying goes
"let bygones be bygones".
A "bygone" is something which has already happened; the time
when it happened has "gone by".
Do Not Tell Me It Is Too Late To Be Successful Or Happy
Do not tell me you are sick or broken in spirit; the spirit
cannot be sick or broken,Smoking, because it is of energy.
Forget about all the money you may have lost, the mistakes
you have made, the injuries you have received, the
disappointments you have experienced...
It is unreasonable and untrue to imagine destiny has
selected you for any special kind of suffering. Say to
yourself with the beginning of this year that you are
going to consider all your troubles as an education for
your mind and that you are going to use them as lessons
with witch to learn from.
Do Not Tell Me You Are Too Old
Age is all imagination. Ignore years and they will ignore
you. Eat moderately,"Everybody was kung-fu fighting. Exercise thoroughly and regularly.
Be alive, from tip to toe. Breathe deeply, filling every
cell of the lungs for at least five minutes, morning and
night, and when you draw in long, full breaths, believe
you are inhaling health, wisdom, success and courage.
Anticipate good health. If it does not come at once,
consider it a mere temporary delay, and continue to
expect it,your work or outside work interests.
If you will study your own mind and its limitless powers,
you will gain a secret which shall give you whatever you
desire.
Think of your body as the silver jewel box, your mind as
the silver lining, your spirit as the gem. Keep the box
polished and clear of dust, but remember always that the
jewel within is the precious part of it.
Think of yourself as arriving just at the entrance or
gate of never-ending success. A full, clear and
glorious year lies right before you...
In a year you can gain health, fortune, calmness
and happiness!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
children
How To Be Responsible Without Blame, Shame Or Guilt by Houston Vetter
People sometimes feel bad when they consider the subject of being responsible. Everyone can benefit from being responsible but most people get a sense of dread or blame or shame or guilt. let's change that now.
The word is three words in one. Most people when they try to understand break it down to only two words. 1. ABILITY TO 2,what does your brain forget to remind you. RESPOND
That is useful and yet it still does not get to the essence of what the word is conveying. Let's look at it deeper At the beginning of the word is the prefix RE,resources,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Black Boots, which means "do over" At the end of the word we have 'bility' ability abbreviated which means "power to"
Now we can see it already sounds different than what we normally think. We realize this word is about the power to do something over.
The key to this word is in the middle 'spond', which comes from a Greek musical term 'sponde', meaning "to liberate, liberation"
So what we are talking about is "The Power to once again liberate."
It is hard to believe such a wonderful and exciting idea become associated with the unpleasant ideas and consequences it has today in our world?
The answer may surprise you. It is really a math problem What do I mean? It is the problem of the word "to" (2) and the word "for" (4). Society has miss interpreted these two little words and caused a word that was meant to excite and energize to be received with dread, sadness and apprehension. Here is where the rub comes in The Individual is responsible to and for oneself The Individual in ONLY responsible to others (including spouse, children, bosses, friends, society) When the individual attempts to take responsibility FOR any other human being the word begins to imprison instead of liberate.
As one Master Teacher once said Our Diversity Supports Our Individual Freedoms... While our societies continue to try to dictate and enforce human behavior to please the majority - because of our diversity,and drives less efficiently at say 100 KM/hour, it continues to be an uncomfortable struggle that, again and again, falls of its economic weight. There simply is not enough money in the world to buck the natural currents of individual freedom and independence of thought.
People sometimes feel bad when they consider the subject of being responsible. Everyone can benefit from being responsible but most people get a sense of dread or blame or shame or guilt. let's change that now.
The word is three words in one. Most people when they try to understand break it down to only two words. 1. ABILITY TO 2,what does your brain forget to remind you. RESPOND
That is useful and yet it still does not get to the essence of what the word is conveying. Let's look at it deeper At the beginning of the word is the prefix RE,resources,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Black Boots, which means "do over" At the end of the word we have 'bility' ability abbreviated which means "power to"
Now we can see it already sounds different than what we normally think. We realize this word is about the power to do something over.
The key to this word is in the middle 'spond', which comes from a Greek musical term 'sponde', meaning "to liberate, liberation"
So what we are talking about is "The Power to once again liberate."
It is hard to believe such a wonderful and exciting idea become associated with the unpleasant ideas and consequences it has today in our world?
The answer may surprise you. It is really a math problem What do I mean? It is the problem of the word "to" (2) and the word "for" (4). Society has miss interpreted these two little words and caused a word that was meant to excite and energize to be received with dread, sadness and apprehension. Here is where the rub comes in The Individual is responsible to and for oneself The Individual in ONLY responsible to others (including spouse, children, bosses, friends, society) When the individual attempts to take responsibility FOR any other human being the word begins to imprison instead of liberate.
As one Master Teacher once said Our Diversity Supports Our Individual Freedoms... While our societies continue to try to dictate and enforce human behavior to please the majority - because of our diversity,and drives less efficiently at say 100 KM/hour, it continues to be an uncomfortable struggle that, again and again, falls of its economic weight. There simply is not enough money in the world to buck the natural currents of individual freedom and independence of thought.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
I went to sleep last night with fantasies of all I would get done today. Up at 6
Summer Observations About Rest and Guidance
I had tea with my dear friend Billy on Friday. She had just returned from two weeks in a small town in Mexico, where her daughter surfed and she rested. It was the first time in a very long time that Billy allowed herself a deep rest. She was telling me how depressed she had been since coming home because she couldn't understand why her life at home felt so different than her life in Mexico. "I want to bring that feeling home, I don't want to lose it," she said.
I remarked, "You can certainly look at what you are doing at home that no longer serves you. You can jettison what drains your energy. Being away offers us perspective to see what isn't working. But I also believe you experienced a true retreat, the deep replenishment of rest, and it is the rare person who gets enough of that. You can't bring that home, but you can grasp the need to give it to yourself in the future- and not every ten years but every month, every season, every year."
When we do get to rest, we become ravenous for more. We start to think about how to change our lives to get more- Billy was plotting to buy a house in Mexico. But while some change at home can be vital I think the real message is: we need retreats, we need deep rest and we just don't give ourselves permission to get it. We allow ourselves some, yes, but with conditions. Perhaps shorter than we really need or with people along that don't really allow us to rest or by going to places that don't replenish us.
Sigh.
EATING YELLOWSTONE
My daughter and I visited Yellowstone National Park last month on our way back from a week of horseback riding in the Windriver country of Wyoming. By the end of our Yellowstone day, we were exhausted from the heat and the sheer overwhelming force of the land and we were also sad. Over dinner we talked about how we had overheard one man remark, "I'm not stopping to see that moose. We've already seen one moose. I'm only stopping for a bear." Yellowstone majesty and mystery felt like something to check off his list of been there, done that. I didn't feel sad because of him though, I felt sad because I had felt traces of that the same feeling in myself during our day. "Let's ring the most we can from this day, let's consume Yellowstone! Let's not leave until we have seen every animal on the park service's map -- let's eat everything on the menu."
I had to keep reminding myself to follow Lilly's lead, to linger, to poke, to explore, to get away from the crowds and off down a shady trail,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Black Boots, and to know we could spend the next ten years walking and looking and never know this place -- bison may walk down the middle of the highway and yet they will always remain an untouchable mystery.
As Lilly and I strolled around the geysers in the twilight, I mused about why people are often so irritable and frayed when they travel. Sure we are tired and hot and out of our comfort zone. But could it be that we know what we yearn for, what we pine for, and we aren't getting it? A yearning for deep soul rest and deep soul connection with those we love, and yet what we often end up with is more busyness and more distraction, snared by habits of consumption to move farther away from the mystery of our heart's desire.
Sigh.
THE PACE OF GUIDANCE
God is making it abundantly clear to me lately that the only way I can live, let alone move forward with my projects, is to rest, listen and trust spiritual guidance, MOMENT BY MOMENT -- not just for the big decisions. I must, as Christina Baldwin says in her book The Seven Whispers, "Move at the pace of guidance."
What my guidance is telling me, that even after taking a month off, I need more rest. That as much as I am chomping at the bit to get going, I have to move at the pace that feels right and that pace, in this moment, involves more rest. Guidance is also telling me that the black and white world of extremes I love to inhabit -- that I either lay perfectly still for three months in a 19th century sanatorium OR work 10 hours a day -- is faulty. I can move forward AND rest but only by listening.
An example of what that looks like today: I went to sleep last night with fantasies of all I would get done today. Up at 6, writing on the novel, exercise, clean the study/guest room, finish notes on a friend's novel, edit this newsletter, sign books for the store sale, visit with parents, weed, do something fun with Chris and Lilly, maybe go see Winged Migration with Lil tonight. I wake up this morning and already the to-do list train has left the station, and my soul is the caboose. My jaw is tight before I'm even finished washing my face.
This is not moving at the pace of guidance.
Catching myself during my morning meditation, stopping, relaxing my tense body, loving myself, accepting that I am doing it again, and then asking, "What do I most need to do right now?" is moving at the pace of guidance. The fact that I have to do this four times before noon is also moving at the pace of guidance. Or as C.S. Lewis writes in Mere Christianity, "It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back,but is it even worth entering one at this point; in listening to that other voice,several kill it, taking that other point of view, letting that other, larger, stronger,Without the ability to express yourself efficiently, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind."
I am at the end of a long, long learning cycle; a cycle in which the lesson has been to listen and act on what I hear, with no guarantees. I have thought in the past that if I listen, I must do it perfectly and then the results would be perfect. What a horrible burden and a load of crap. If there is evil in the world, it takes the form of perfectionism. Sometimes I'm listening to Divine Guidance and sometimes I'm listening to my wily, tricky ego, and sometimes I'm listening to my morass of sticky neuroses. How can I really know unless I listen and see what happens? In the past, I bounced between the twin poles of "But listening hasn't been 100% reliable" and "But I can't listen now, I have too much to do/have to make money/people need this done now." What I'm sensing -- and I could be wrong, remember there are no guarantees -- is that if I disregard what I hear these days, I will grind to a halt faster and suffer more, than ever before. It's like the spiral on this learning has grown very small and I get almost instant feedback if I push the river, if I insist on my agenda, if I stay invested in my way.
I wish I could say this is all exciting and spiritually satisfying but mainly, at least today, it feels scary, far too slow and tedious.
Sigh. (But with a smile.)
I had tea with my dear friend Billy on Friday. She had just returned from two weeks in a small town in Mexico, where her daughter surfed and she rested. It was the first time in a very long time that Billy allowed herself a deep rest. She was telling me how depressed she had been since coming home because she couldn't understand why her life at home felt so different than her life in Mexico. "I want to bring that feeling home, I don't want to lose it," she said.
I remarked, "You can certainly look at what you are doing at home that no longer serves you. You can jettison what drains your energy. Being away offers us perspective to see what isn't working. But I also believe you experienced a true retreat, the deep replenishment of rest, and it is the rare person who gets enough of that. You can't bring that home, but you can grasp the need to give it to yourself in the future- and not every ten years but every month, every season, every year."
When we do get to rest, we become ravenous for more. We start to think about how to change our lives to get more- Billy was plotting to buy a house in Mexico. But while some change at home can be vital I think the real message is: we need retreats, we need deep rest and we just don't give ourselves permission to get it. We allow ourselves some, yes, but with conditions. Perhaps shorter than we really need or with people along that don't really allow us to rest or by going to places that don't replenish us.
Sigh.
EATING YELLOWSTONE
My daughter and I visited Yellowstone National Park last month on our way back from a week of horseback riding in the Windriver country of Wyoming. By the end of our Yellowstone day, we were exhausted from the heat and the sheer overwhelming force of the land and we were also sad. Over dinner we talked about how we had overheard one man remark, "I'm not stopping to see that moose. We've already seen one moose. I'm only stopping for a bear." Yellowstone majesty and mystery felt like something to check off his list of been there, done that. I didn't feel sad because of him though, I felt sad because I had felt traces of that the same feeling in myself during our day. "Let's ring the most we can from this day, let's consume Yellowstone! Let's not leave until we have seen every animal on the park service's map -- let's eat everything on the menu."
I had to keep reminding myself to follow Lilly's lead, to linger, to poke, to explore, to get away from the crowds and off down a shady trail,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Black Boots, and to know we could spend the next ten years walking and looking and never know this place -- bison may walk down the middle of the highway and yet they will always remain an untouchable mystery.
As Lilly and I strolled around the geysers in the twilight, I mused about why people are often so irritable and frayed when they travel. Sure we are tired and hot and out of our comfort zone. But could it be that we know what we yearn for, what we pine for, and we aren't getting it? A yearning for deep soul rest and deep soul connection with those we love, and yet what we often end up with is more busyness and more distraction, snared by habits of consumption to move farther away from the mystery of our heart's desire.
Sigh.
THE PACE OF GUIDANCE
God is making it abundantly clear to me lately that the only way I can live, let alone move forward with my projects, is to rest, listen and trust spiritual guidance, MOMENT BY MOMENT -- not just for the big decisions. I must, as Christina Baldwin says in her book The Seven Whispers, "Move at the pace of guidance."
What my guidance is telling me, that even after taking a month off, I need more rest. That as much as I am chomping at the bit to get going, I have to move at the pace that feels right and that pace, in this moment, involves more rest. Guidance is also telling me that the black and white world of extremes I love to inhabit -- that I either lay perfectly still for three months in a 19th century sanatorium OR work 10 hours a day -- is faulty. I can move forward AND rest but only by listening.
An example of what that looks like today: I went to sleep last night with fantasies of all I would get done today. Up at 6, writing on the novel, exercise, clean the study/guest room, finish notes on a friend's novel, edit this newsletter, sign books for the store sale, visit with parents, weed, do something fun with Chris and Lilly, maybe go see Winged Migration with Lil tonight. I wake up this morning and already the to-do list train has left the station, and my soul is the caboose. My jaw is tight before I'm even finished washing my face.
This is not moving at the pace of guidance.
Catching myself during my morning meditation, stopping, relaxing my tense body, loving myself, accepting that I am doing it again, and then asking, "What do I most need to do right now?" is moving at the pace of guidance. The fact that I have to do this four times before noon is also moving at the pace of guidance. Or as C.S. Lewis writes in Mere Christianity, "It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back,but is it even worth entering one at this point; in listening to that other voice,several kill it, taking that other point of view, letting that other, larger, stronger,Without the ability to express yourself efficiently, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind."
I am at the end of a long, long learning cycle; a cycle in which the lesson has been to listen and act on what I hear, with no guarantees. I have thought in the past that if I listen, I must do it perfectly and then the results would be perfect. What a horrible burden and a load of crap. If there is evil in the world, it takes the form of perfectionism. Sometimes I'm listening to Divine Guidance and sometimes I'm listening to my wily, tricky ego, and sometimes I'm listening to my morass of sticky neuroses. How can I really know unless I listen and see what happens? In the past, I bounced between the twin poles of "But listening hasn't been 100% reliable" and "But I can't listen now, I have too much to do/have to make money/people need this done now." What I'm sensing -- and I could be wrong, remember there are no guarantees -- is that if I disregard what I hear these days, I will grind to a halt faster and suffer more, than ever before. It's like the spiral on this learning has grown very small and I get almost instant feedback if I push the river, if I insist on my agenda, if I stay invested in my way.
I wish I could say this is all exciting and spiritually satisfying but mainly, at least today, it feels scary, far too slow and tedious.
Sigh. (But with a smile.)
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